Jimmie

Essay Questions

1. Write a comic essay about other sorts of behavior that can spark irritation or “rage.” Don’t be afraid to use exaggeration, as Barry does, but do so in ways that readers will find amusing rather than offensive.

There is a rage known by all, a rage that hides inside each of us yearning to get out, I like to think of it simply as “The 10 Item Rage.” This may sound odd now but when you have read the whole essay you will understand what I am talking. Imagine, its Tuesday morning, about 7:15am, and you realize, “Oh, no! I don’t have any pencils to use today!” As you speed down I-64 running over the little old ladies who go 40mph or the interstate with your monster truck, hoping to get to that safe haven for your needs… Wal-Mart! You think to yourself, it’s 7:15am now; I can make it to Wal-Mart by 7:30am, and get the “Holy Grail” of a citizen of Academia, pencils!
All is going fine, you have outrun three police cars on the interstate and you are coming up on a sign that reads, “29th St. exit ½ mile.” You’re thinking to your self, “Plenty of time!” You zip through the Wal-Mart parking lot finding a spot right by the door, everything is going great, as you walk in you notice that there’s quite a few people here this morning. Rushing back to the stationary aisle, you knock over an Oreo display; large women in spandex pants come running at you with a crazed look in their eyes to get the chocolaty goodness that has spilled out onto the floor. You duck into an aisle to get away from them and find yourself surrounded by pencils and grab a five pack of mechanical pencils and rush to the registers.
You glance down at your watch to see how long you’ve got before Ms. Darby’s class starts, 7:38am, you can just make it. An unfortunate side effect of all those people shopping at Wally World so early in the morning is that the two registers that are opened are packed! A light come on inside you head… no, it’s a register light, a “10 item or less” line is opening. You take off running through Wal-Mart to get to that one prized spot, the front of the line! As you near you goal, something glistens in your eye from the right, it’s the crinkly plastic packaging that houses Oreos, the same ones you had just knocked over and sacrificed to the Spandex Tribe. They’re coming back to get you, not in true form of course but as one of the women whom you had dodged earlier with a shopping cart full of the blasted things (Oreos take revenge too). She beats you to the line; her buggy stacked six feet tall with those horrible chocolaty concoctions. Then you start thinking; “No way the cashier’s going to let her through the line!” Just then you overhear “Well, Hello Nancy,” and the reply, “Hi Karen!” When you hear this you know that it’s all over, there you are standing in Wal-Mart at 7:41am behind the preacher’s wife from the “First Baptist Church of Gossip,” you want so badly to take your nice new pencils out of the package and give Nancy a nice little Lobotomy.
Then you realize that no matter what you do you’re going to be late for class as your anger grows and Karen and Nancy’s conversation progresses, you realize, have fallen victim to “The 10 Item Rage.” It never fails no matter whether you’re in a hurry or not, this is one of the most ignorant and annoying behaviors that a small group of humans exhibit, most of the time without even knowing they do so, that can ruin the entire day for the rest of us!

2. Freud refers to “dreams of convenience.” What does he mean? Offer examples of your own to supplement those Freud suggests.

In Sigmund Freud’s essay, “The Interpretation of Dreams,” he mainly wrote of what he called “dreams of convenience.” Dreams of convenience were described as “a fulfillment of wishes.” What Freud meant by this can be broken down into two categories: physical needs and the personal wants.
Physical needs are the simplest to define and understand. It is whenever the body needs something, if someone dreams that they are on a tropical island running away from an erupting volcano, it might signify that their sleeping area temperature has risen making it difficult to rest well. Freud’s example of his dream of drinking water has probably happen to most of us at least once.
The more difficult to explain dreams of convince are those dealing with personal wants. This can be something that is not needed to survive at all, but something to make your mind rest easier. One experience I’ve had with this is last year in high school I had taken very difficult classes, was working a 30 hour-a-week job, and my best friend had just died in an ATV accident. I needed a release, my own get away, but my vacation wouldn’t be for a month. To satisfy my own personal need, I had the reoccurring dream that I was on a beach, no one else around, listening to the ocean and watching a sunset. But dreaming that helped me make it until vacation time, it was my little getaway.
Another instance of this was a dream shortly after my friend died. The time leading up to her death I had grown farther apart from her (which I think is God’s way of making sure I didn’t have a nervous breakdown). The day before she had called me and I wasn’t home, she left a message for my Mom to tell me to call her so we could do something the next day. I already had plans and just didn’t take the time to call her back. So I without saying felt that I could have kept her from dying if I had just called her back and changed my plans. About a week after her death I dreamed that I was driving around to the back of Rollison’s Car Wash to have my truck washed and as I went around the corner of the building I saw her standing there. I got out of my truck, ran over to her, fell down on my knees and start begging for her apology and as I did, she giggled, like she always did and told me not to worry about, she was ok and got to see her grandmother, and that what that happened wasn’t my fault. This may have been her way of making me feel better (I like to think of it this way) or it could have been that my conscious was so burdened by this that it used the dream to lessen my load.
You can see that the two different types are very contrasting in the sense that while one is something that is needed for the physical body and the other is the mind. But, they are greatly alike in the sense that they both fulfill, whatever kind it may be, a want.

3. Write a “modest proposal” of your own in which you offer an outrageous solution to alleviate some social problem. Make sure that readers understand that your proposal is satirical and that they recognize your real purpose in writing.

I believe that in this day and age that road rage is getting to be a problem. With people cutting each other off, going 100mph on every road, and the increasing death rate due to vehicle accidents. I believe that there is one sure way to end all of this nonsense. The only sure way to end all of these “road rage” dilemmas would be very simple, when teens go for their driving test issue them all hand guns. With all the computer games where they walk around killing mutants they won’t have to be trained to use it. As a matter of fact, just issue everyone with a driving permit a handgun. Now you may ask how guns can solve our little driving problem, and why we should give 16-year-olds handguns it’s as simple as this. While driving if someone does someone does something you don’t like, such as tailgate you, or pass you on a curvy road you are required by law to take out your gun and shoot the person. Look at it as you helping the police. If you are worried what their families would think it’s simple, “If they were stupid enough to do whatever they have done, then they deserve it.” Now some people may complain about this new idea but don’t worry, the sheer genius of the idea is what helps us all. Soon after this new law takes effect, everyone will be dead; there will be no one to nagging about, no one driving recklessly, and no one alive at all.
Now some people think that a lightweight solution like telling people to have a little consideration and you, yourself watching how you drive might solve the problem. That would never work everyone would be fine except for the one or two people on earth who still don’t care and they will just ruin it for all of us.
So, I think by instating the new handgun law it will help us all while driving and make the highways a better (empty) place.